she listens like spring

partysoft:

saltmarshhag:

sylviaandherfigtree:

cloneboy:

quaintrellle:

i don’t believe in couple “privilege” (um, i would just relabel that circle “heterosexual privilege”), but this diagram cracked me up regardless.

sometimesalwaysandnever:

NOT all-encompassing, but still amusing via Vennoid.

Seeing as how most poly literature is aimed at couples looking to open up their existing relationship, and how the common narrative of romance in this culture is centered around couples, and how single people are seen as “not in a relationship yet,” I’d say couple privilege is very much a thing.

Besides, replacing “couple privilege” with “hetero privilege” wouldn’t make sense.

the structures of marginalization/centering and privilege/oppression are not the same thing. couples may be centered and solo polyamorists marginalized in some communities, but that doesn’t mean solo polyamorists/single people constitute an oppressed group.

i am also side-eyeing the idea that couples made up of a configuration other than M/F are “privileged”. 

replacing “couple privilege” with “cis-straight privilege*” makes a lot of sense here, actually. it is an act of erasure in the above image to conflate “couples” with “straight couples”, but this dynamic is really specific to M/F/(f) poly configurations, where the primary relationship is straight**. the entire diagram and corresponding set of assumptions simply do not work if the “couple” in question is anything other than straight.

*the set of assumptions outlined in the diagram is also extremely cissexist in its assumption that “women” and “men” come with certain kinds of bodies, and i haven’t really seen it play out in situations where either partner is trans, so i would temporarily label it cis-straight privilege, but i haven’t quite worked it all the way out in my head yet.

**i am not using this in order to label either participant as necessarily straight, just as a description of relationships where one partner is male-identified and the other is female-identified. women in straight relationships are definitely capable of co-perpetuating this ugly dynamic even if they themselves identify as lesbian, bisexual, queer, etc.***

***yes i am aware that being non-hetero in a straight relationship does not grant you instant access to ALL straight privilege. but no, i don’t actually believe that it grants you NO access to ANY straight privilege and that that should never be questioned where it emerges.

wtf is this shit

i hate snowflake str8ys the most

“We have veto power, because our relationship always comes first.”

wtf. aside from the gr8 criticism of ~*~couple privilege~*~ and tbh all the rest already, there is nothing wrong with partners negotiating boundaries in this way. when you’re going to bring someone into a pre-existing relationship, even if just for a fling or w/e, it’s understandable that the person (or people, it’s not like negotiation boundaries is somehow exclusive to couples) already in the relationship might want to be able to say “you know what, hon, this person creeps me out/seems like a dick/etc.”

and so what if someone’s existing relationship always comes first? fucking duh. and so what if a couple wants to prioritize themselves but be allowed to fuck around or whatever? as long as it’s done responsibly and respectfully of the people they’re involving, whoooo fucking caaaaares.

UGH

so glad to finally see criticism of this ily’all